You know Hollywood is running out of ideas when the latest movies sound like parodies that couldn’t possibly be real – but are.
Case in point: a movie with the same name as a late-80s TV cop drama that starred Johnny Depp is now a screwball comedy starring Jonah Hill from “Superbad” and Ice Cube. Sounds like a joke, right? Nope – it’s “21 Jump Street.” At the rate Hollywood’s going, the following movies can’t be far behind:
- Are You There, God? It’s Me, Maggot – A Pixar-animated coming-of-age story about a tiny worm with big dreams. Maggot doesn’t know a life beyond the sleepy confines of her small-town cemetery, but she’s been reading about the bright lights and big city trash heaps of New York. When Maggot takes an online college class, her eyes are opened to the bigger possibilities and she decides to inch out toward the core of the Big Apple.
- Skylight – A workplace drama featuring several sexy, sexy vampires who are sick of living rogue and ready to settle down into a responsible job with a pension and benefits. While they guzzle coffee and surf celebrity blogs during the daytime, the vampires are unaware that the skylight in their trendy, urban office loft is slowly killing them. Will someone save them before it’s too late? Or will their slow death be mistaken for the drawn-out throttling of the soul common to most office workers?
- Don’t Cry for Me, Sergeant Tina – Madonna reprises her role as Argentina’s beloved first lady, Eva Peron – only this time, instead of facing army opposition, she’s joined the army. Between kicking ass and taking names, she is also singing. And dancing. And somehow, through it all, she manages to keep that weird, fake English accent.
- Jesus: The Lost Years – Courtesy of Mass Productions, this historical fiction attempts to form a narrative of what Jesus did between the ages of 12 to 30. Like most of us, he moved out of his parents’ house. And like most of us, he moved back in – a couple of times. Jesus also had his inner demons and he experimented in his teens with casting them – sometimes out of people, sometimes at people, and occasionally in small screenplays.
“21 Jump Street” (2012)